Pic: Bill The Housesitter, June 2020, Darwin NT (Garramilla, Larakia country)
G’day. I’m Bill The Housesitter.
I’m a very experienced house-sitter and am available for short, medium and long-term house-sits in Perth, Fremantle, and surrounding areas from October 2021. Having operated in ACT, NSW, Queensland, and the NT for many years, I’m currently on a short break in the Top End, then I’m back in the housesitting game.
I’ve put all my references in one place here. Contact details for referees are available on your request.
If you’re after someone who can take good care of your pets as well as your house, flat, castle, bungalow, mansion, etc. please read on.
I’m a responsible, mature bloke, fifty-five years young, with lots of experience. I retired from the mainstream workforce in July 2021, but am now comfortably busy with my own business.
I’m great with cats, dogs, chooks, other birds, rats, fish, guinea pigs, rabbits, snakes, lizards, dinosaurs, unicorns, ocelots, lawns, pot-plants, pools, and pet rocks. I have a fistful of references from happy, satisfied client home-owners, and while I’m very lucky to be in demand for repeat house-sits, my calendar does often have short to long gaps.
Pic: Hanging out with this legend of a water dragon, watching baseball in Wynnum, Queensland.
I started house-sitting in Canberra in 2000 and have minded properties in Aranda, Bonner, Bruce, Downer, Flynn, Fraser, Hawker, Kingston, Latham, Canberra City, Braddon, Ngunnawal, Kambah, Palmerston, Rivett, Torrens, and Waramanga.
I moved to Greater Sydney in 2013 and have house-sat in Peakhurst, Miranda, Annandale, Matraville, Bilgola Plateau, Naremburn, Dundas Valley, Wangi Wangi (Lake Macquarie), Point Clare (Central Coast), Corlette (Nelson Bay), Wattle Grove, Kingsgrove, Riverwood, Baulkham Hills, Lane Cove West, Ourimbah (Central Coast), Northmead, Holsworthy, Paddington, Yagoona, Hornsby Heights, Avalon, Queanbeyan, North St Marys, Cattai, Surry Hills, Thornleigh, Singleton, and way further south in the state to Tuross Head (Eurobodalla Nature Coast).
In Queensland, my housesits have been in Witta, Palmwoods, Eastern Heights, Ipswich, East Ipswich, Riverhills, Sunnybank Hills, Coorparoo, Indooroopilly, Coolangatta, New Farm, Burleigh Heads, Wavell Heights, Ascot, Oxenford, Upper Kedron, Capalaba, Wynnum, Wynnum West, Bracken Ridge, Kangaroo Point, Eaton Hills, Algester, Mt Ommaney, Tannum Sands, Machans Beach (Cairns), Barlows Hill (Yeppoon), Birkdale, Berrinba, Scarborough, and Rothwell.
In Northern Territory, I’ve housesat in Johnson, Parap, Ludmilla, Wanguri, Muirhead, Rapid Creek, Alawa, and Wagaman. Northern Territory in March 2019 was the end of one very long road of relying on housesitting for a roof over my head. Now I don’t need to housesit, but I miss having furry, feathered, and finny friends to hang out with. Saying g’day to dogs and cats going for walks along the Nightcliff Foreshore is great, but doesn’t quite fill the void.
I’m in Darwin and surrounding regions until the end of September 2021, taking a very long, deep breath for a couple of weeks in the Perth area, initially in Fremantle. Then I’m open for business again.
Ideally within a ring around Perth of about 100-150kms, but if you’ve got a small winery outside Margaret River that needs looking after with a couple of housecats and leaky wine barrels, and a wine cellar that’s too full and needs some trimming round the edges*, I could mosey on down south.
* But if you’ve seen that episode of ‘Black Books’ and are now nervously checking your house and cellar contents insurance policy, fear not. I’m much better at following instructions than Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey.
Pic: A housesit to plate in titanium and put on a shelf in the best room. Scarborough, Queensland. Across from the marina. I barely left the compound all week except to walk this absolute champion.
When I housesit, I’m not a big goer-outer.* Maybe a trivia night here and there, and the odd lunch and dinner with social groups. I am now fully retired from the government/corporate worlds, and I work for myself from a home location. So I can provide excellent companionship for your animals. If you have WiFi and will let me have access to it, that makes my life a little easier. But it’s not a deal-breaker. In 2018 I housesat in Singleton for a week and the lovely young couple did not have WiFi. They have full and active lives, so why go to the expense?
I could work out those dates in about six seconds on the internet. I used my mobile data plan to watch the World Series, and on the last day of my monthly plan – it reset at midnight – I watched game three or four in the series of seven games. I’d calculated I had just enough data for the regulation nine innings game.
NARRATOR: For the first time in recorded a history, a World Series game went to 18 innings. I bought an extra $10 data allowance when they went to extra innings. Three of them! No, not three extra innings. Three extra data allowances. Laugh? I had to cross my legs. The dogs were very confused, but they joined in the fun. They were Houston Astro fans, dirty stopouts. Bad dog! No treat! NARRATOR: The dogs got treats.
* When I’m not housesitting, I like the nightlife; I like to boogie. But less on the disco ’round, and more open mic nights and music gigs/festivals. I write for music publications and do a spot of radio presenting here and there (Canberra 2008-2012, Darwin 2019-2020, and itching to get back into it. I never thought I’d make it in this medium. I have a face for radio, but mum said I wasn’t tall enough.)
You can be assured that I will take good care of your house and all in it.
I have a full national police check done in January 2018 and will be updating this on arrival in WA. I also had a Queensland Blue Card (working with children) from 2015-2018, and a full Australian Government baseline/protected security clearance done in 2012 for federal employment. Not secret squirrel stuff. I was a Schools Learning Assistant at the Museum of Australian Democracy (MoAD) and an Electoral Educator at the then National Electoral Education Centre (part of the AEC).
If you or your kiddies went on a school trip to Canberra in 2011/2012, we may have already met.
I do not own a car, but am licensed to drive manuals and automatics. I’ve driven everything from a wind-up 1.1L Citroen to a two tonne truck. I’ve been driving for 37 years and have never caused an accident… except when I slammed my Dato-180B into a tree in Canberra in 1985, but that’s something of a right of passage for 18yo males. My son did something similar two weeks after he got his P-plates in 2014.
Like father, like son. He’s funnier on stage than me. I’m not jealous. Much. 😉
If you leave a vehicle and allow me to drive it, I appreciate it, but don’t expect it. Please establish your coverage with your insurer and put in writing the rules for use, e.g. drive only in daytime, within a 25km radius of home, no chucking doughnuts in the riverside carpark, etc. 😀
Pic: In between housesits, I usually stay at a YHA youth hostel. This was taken at Railway Square YHA, Sydney in 2019. Now I’m retired and spending your tax dollars wisely with my APS pension, I generally stay a little more upmarket. But not always.
I have no pets, and my two adult children do not live/travel with me. In fact, with their busy lives in other states and current Covid restrictions, I think I can vaguely remember what they look like. I get updates through the medical jungle drums about my daughter in Queensland, and I watch the news reports and entertainment listings for rumours about what my son’s up to. 😉
Speaking of which, I am fully vaccinated with Astra Zeneca and have my certificate available. If you are an anti-vaxxer, a conspiracy theorist, are staunchly right wing conservative, fundamentalist** religious, or believe discrimination of minorities is a good and proper thing, then thank you for your time and I wish you well in a search for a suitable housesitter. To quote my favourite singer-songwriter-performer of all time, “It ain’t me, babe; no, no, no, it ain’t me, babe. It ain’t me you’re looking for, babe.”
** I am not anti-religious, but I am anti-extremism in religion, including those who have absolutist and lunatic views, but more importantly, those who put those views into word and action. No Hillsong-ers under any circumstances. I was dragged up in the Catholic Church and school system, and while I’ve left that way behind in the rear-view mirror and struggle with a lot of their doctrine and some very dodgy practices, I celebrate the immense good the majority do in the world, and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for the solid grounding I received in education and personal standards. ‘Morals’ sounds a bit high, mighty, and holier than thou. Ironically.
For the rest of you, let’s talk.
I have a Facebook page with pictures and odds and sods at:
I look forward to hearing from you.
After initial contact, my preferences when making bookings are (in order, where possible):
- Face to face
- Other text-based services
I do NOT use Facebook Messenger, and will not see any messages that you send there. Best not to. Phone or email is always better to get a result.
Please always provide a phone number. I have unlimited calls on my mobile plan and can call you locally, domestically or internationally. I will not tee-up any housesits solely by text and/or email. It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad, scammy, spammy world out there, friend.
If calling me, please leave a voicemail if you can’t reach me. I don’t return missed calls if you leave no message; it might have been a butt-dial.
Now, if all of the above sounds a bit stern, a bit serious, a bit schoolmaster-like, I can tell you this for nothing: I’ve been in this game for 21 years or more. Anytime I compromise on my personal rules and preferences, it nearly always goes a little skewiff. I ain’t doing this for my health or my base needs at the bottom of Maslow’s pyramidic hierarchy of needs. I love doing it, but I’m not suffering fools, charlatans, criminals, or mean-spirited sadists again.
And friends, I’ve had a few of each.
Look, that’s probably more than enough for now. You probably have things to do and a life to lead. See you if I’m looking at you.
Phone: 0405 651 681
Pic: Another great housesit in Berrinba, Queensland